The Big Picture: Health and Fitness

Its amazing what we take for granted. I'm an energetic motivated person, a hard worker. But when it comes to safeguarding my health, I'm lazy, selfish, and short-sighted. Always pushing too hard, cutting corners and demanding more from myself. I could get away with this in my teens and 20s, but now I'm in my mid 30s and I feel OLD and decrepit. I ache and creak. Stiff and sore. I get tired. I'm overweight. My memory is terrible. Isn't this supposed to be what it's like in my 80s?!

My mother had a lot of challenges when she was in her 30s too. She had a lot of pain, and I remember how she would limp first thing in the morning, or really anytime she sat for too long. A couple years ago I injured the tendons in my foot while hiking vigorously. It took nearly a year for it to heal, and it was with a hollow kind of horror that I too would limp whenever I got out of bed, or after sitting awhile. I've had a back ache since I was a kid. In high school I had stress knots in my neck. For a couple years I have had problems with my hips and shoulders. Just within the last six months I've started having concerns with one of my knees and one of my wrists. I'm falling apart here!!!

Physically, I'm up to my eyeballs in debt. All I do is make withdrawals and borrow against the future, but I never make any deposits or investments. I shudder to think if I continued on this path for another 10 years, how my health would be bankrupted. And the last ten years have just flown by in a blink! I believe I still have time to turn this around. But I know somewhere along the line I will pass that point of no return. And there is so much I dream of being able to do with my life!

For the last couple of years I've been coming to the realization that I would rather be FAT & HEALTHY any day, than be SICK & SKINNY. What is life without health? About a month ago, I saw a wonderful video. It's exactly what I needed to focus in on what to do next.

I also want to talk about self-esteem, and self-acceptance, even self-love.

When I was a young woman, I was obsessed with looking good. I started to get overweight in highschool. I'd go hungry and try diets because I needed to lose just 10 pounds to be happy. My ultimate DREAM was to get back to my middle school weight of 115#. I would get myself all stirred up about what I wanted to change about myself, rejecting those things which were stealing my happiness. I hated my butt, hated that my inner thighs touched, hated my upper arm flab. So what was I gonna do about it? Boot Camp baby! I was gonna burn it all off in a flaming fury of determination and exercise. I was gonna starve those stupid fat cells of any unnecessary calories. I was going to ruthlessly eliminate cheese, pasta and pizza, and everything else that was frivolous fun food. I was militant, and angry at myself for being weak and selfish in the past. I was 135#, and I was sick of being this disgusting fatso. The only way I knew how to motivate myself was to be aggressive and feel bad about myself. In the midst of all the mania, I did finally find a smart plan called Body For Life, which included cardio, strength training and a balanced diet. But it was expensive with all the pills, powders, and protein supplements. For a time I looked good, felt good. Now, I may have been performing positive activities, but it was all done with an ill spirit. Then I got distracted.

And then, I got FFFFAAAATTTT.

I went back to eating really healthfully, but I stayed fat. I tried cutting my calories (because we need fewer calories as we get older) and instead of losing weight, I lost my energy instead. I stayed active. And I stayed FAT. I tried to revive my earlier strategies to no avail. So I decided I wouldn't worry about it. I had a wonderful husband who loved me and was affectionate, attentive and romantic despite my size. Then I had a couple really difficult chalenging times in my life, and for no discernible reason, I got FATTER.

So what now?

Now I just want to be grateful for what I do have. I am 34 years old, 5'5" and 180#. I'm not wheelchair bound; I can walk! I'm not so heavy that I can't garden, drive a car, or make love with my husband. I am blessed! I am young enough that I can go do anything I want with my life! I have no diseases. My brain still halfway works. I am humbled that my body still performs as well as it does with very little attention or care. But it deserves to be loved and nurtured. I deserve to be loved and nurtured too. So no more withholding approval from myself until I'm this thin ideal body. No more holding off on rewarding myself with pretty clothes until I'm a worthy size. No more Boot Camp. No more fighting with myself over what I should be. No more punishment. Just, NO MORE!

Today I accept myself, inside and out. I love myself, I appreciate myself. I am already pretty! I will do what is good for me today, honoring my appetite, my energy levels, my current limitations. I will gently press against these limitations until they ease. I will breathe. I will live my life and I will love my life! I've got some negative habits that I will transform into positive habits. I'm not gonna let myself down.  
I'm gonna lift myself up!!!


 Please, no matter where you are in your life, won't you consider your Big Picture too?

4 Golden Rules of Eating

I heard about this from a program called I Can Make You Thin, by a British hypnotist Paul McKenna. There's no doubt the show was fun to watch, and many of the techniques made me skeptical, but whenever I tried this eating method, I really felt he was on to something that could work for almost everybody.

Here's the skinny:

Rule #1 When you are hungry, EAT

 

Rule #2 Eat what you really want, not what you think you should

 

Rule #3 Eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful

 

Rule #4 When you think you are full, stop eating

Here's another concept I found fascinating and worthwhile: a hunger scale. Having the ability to determine how hungry or full you area at any given moment is enormously valuable. Using his idea as a jumping off point I came up with a scale that makes sense to me.

+4 Boated, Tired
+3 Stuffed
+2 Full
+1 Satisfied, Content
0 Neutral
-1 Mild Interest
-2 Hungry
-3 Sharp painful hunger, Irritable
-4 Nausea, Lethargic


The goal is to remain between +2 and -2. This is smart for a whole host of medical reasons too, like avoiding insulin spikes, or digestive stress.

I am adopting the practice of both of these techniques for my diet plan because they both dovetail nicely with my efforts to gently redirect myself onto better path, rather than imposing strict changes that I'll inevitably rebel against.

The Mission

My initial goals for myself are quite modest. I want to become fit enough to actually exercise. Does that make sense? I have neglected myself to the point that anything more strenuous than walking and stretching might cause an injury:( But instead of letting that sad state of affairs stop me, I will move forward! I will focus on building a foundation of good habits, and a fitness plan that respects my limitations and allows me to grow toward my ideals.

THE PLAN
It's all about developing new habits to support a new lifestyle! Baby steps! Daily logs to track decisions, meals and workouts. Weekly check-ins to measure progress.

Overall Objective:
-Gain core strength for better posture, and to alleviate back pain
-Relax and condition my tense muscles, improving my flexibility and circulation
-Feel great, vital and alive, feel mentally alert
-To have the energy to live my life, to have more fun
-To have the strength and stamina to do anything I want to
-Be fit and heart healthy enough that I could run to save my own life or someone else's
-To enjoy eating, to love what I'm eating, and to eat consciously until satisfied
-To shed unnecessary fat, but retain healthy tissues

PHASE 1
Go to bed on time - get plenty of sleep!

30 min of non-strenuous, therapeutic exercise daily - physical therapy, gentle yoga, walking

Follow the 4 Golden Rules of Eating

(Have you noticed I haven't listed the number of pounds I want to lose? That's because I honestly don't care at this point! I just want to be able to get through the day with out taking a bunch of ibuprofen.) 

Completion of this phase will allow me to achieve a level of fitness that most normal people start at. This will also be that great foundation of new habits and routines that will carry me through the other phases.

PHASE 2 
Go to bed on time - get plenty of sleep!
30 min of challenging exercise daily, both strength training and cardio
30 min of therapeutic exercise daily - physical therapy, gentle yoga

Follow the 4 Golden Rules of Eating, and clean up the diet:

Eat a clean breakfast

Eat a clean dinner

Eat a fun lunch

Have a free eating day every week

PHASE 3 

Go to bed on time - get plenty of sleep!

Increase challenge and intensity of daily exercise

Begin to practice fun exercise - martial arts, free running, acrobatics, rock climbing

Follow the 4 Golden Rules of Eating

Eat clean 6 days a week, 1 free day

Continue to clean up diet - all home grown, organic, fresh food

Unlike every plan I've made for myself in the past, there are no time or weight based deadlines. Phases may be completed in weeks or months. It's been said that the only way to stay motivated is to have measurable progress. I like the tangible concrete reality of numbers, but this time around I will need to gauge my progress in the feedback my body gives me - in measurements of emotional peace, fluidity, strength, and balance. And the ability to do something without gasping for air. Now this doesn't mean I'm gonna go all year without ever stepping on a scale, I mean come on, I'm still a girl!

Where it all began...

Happy 2012!

Well, a new year and new resolutions! We all want to be skinnier, happier, and more successful by this time next year, right?.... but that doesn't happen without a plan, written goals, and focus. A big thing for me is also accountability - hence, my foray into the world of blogging! I wanted a place to track my health and fitness goals for the new year; this will be an intensely personal journal of my journey back into wellness and health. I'll be delighted to have some friends along to share this journey with me, but I didn't certainly start this blog to become wealthy or famous:)

The name: The Shape of Beauty was born from my desire to recognize the quality of life that can be crafted from wise decisions, moving more gracefully into a lifestyle of nurturing, gratitude, and self-acceptance - in every shape and size. This won't be a Biggest Loser style approach. I've done that. Over and over and over... And I'm really stubborn so I usually stick with it for a good long while before pooping out. Instead, I intend to sneak up on my fitness in order to avoid crashing and burning again:)

I will free myself from restrictive goals like "Get skinny, or else!" cuz I sure have learned over the last few years that I can be FAT and still have FUN! But what I really REALLY want is FREEDOM!!! Free to feel good about myself. Free to get up in the morning feeling whole and healthy. Free to explore this wonderful world and not be held back because I'm out of shape!

Sounds great doesn't it? Let's get started, right NOW!!!